My heart feels heavy
My head feel like lead
Thoughts keep bouncing off
Back and forth back and forth
Worried to mourn
Fearful to miss
Maybe it will help
To look back and remember
Your cheeky smile
Your chubby cheeks
Your portly belly
Your bright naughty eyes
Your happy self
Fortified by the hard shiny metal in your garage
And the soft beautiful smile from Katy
I know now it is love I feel for you
Like I feel for the flower and the frog
Love that will remain forever and never die
Stone floor and high walls
Sand is hot and shadows dark
Hawks draw cirles up above
Giggles from behind the veil
Tinkling anklets hide and seek
Henna leaves soft and tender
Crushed between the Mortar and Pestle
Red blood dripping down
From marital mandal to the pyre
Cruel flames send ashes high
So fleeting so fragile life is
To Sati Sati Sati
From my palms they seamlessly flow
Lines I cut sharp into stone
Too soon I come to rest
As dust on the sandstones
Will you sing my song
As you look up and walk
On stones that I cut cut cut.
I see them short and stubby
uneven and rough
sometimes just mechanics of bones
skin stretched thin over
broken circles with gaps
lines that predict death
I see them on her chest
soft still to touch
closed for me yet open to rest
time flows slow and smooth
I watch them draw my lines
A full stop will come
Time then to rest to rest
Purposeful I walk every step
Sinking deep sometimes shallow
To and fro up and down and around
I pause and repeat as tides ebb and flow
Laden shoulders and miles to go
Sweaty brow and shifting sands
Struggle I must Strive I shall knowing
A million footprints of mine are
Forever condemned to follow yours…
Chest hurting having your way
You kicked the pregnant belly
no one cares you said
You loved one that was fair
so she loved the dark even more
It was just me neither dark or fair
you both forgot to love
Your life was a struggle
It was your cross to bear
Yesterday a blur as days go by
Past is wiped clean
yet stubborn marks remain
Happy families I play
So bright now so light now
Yet dark shadows remain
I will never know yet I ask
Mother did you ever love me?
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